@notfaizzy: There's been lots of "OH MY GOD!" screams coming from the room opposite mine; I just wish the couple in there didn't pick now to be praying.
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@Bdell1014: If you're going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, be a decent human being & turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights
@byrdie_num_num: My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'.
@squirrel74wkgn: People tend to overreact when they look in their rear view mirror & see you sitting in their backseat dressed like a clown.
@Home_Halfway: BOSS: Okay, let's do this. What names are you pitching? COWORKER: Hannah Montana ME: Assapoopshits Massachusetts BOSS: Michael you're fired