@markydoodoo: There's "disappointment" and then there's "Waiter walking past my table with food I thought was mine disappointment"
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@armyantstudios: My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988.
@Tmoney68: "DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? YOU'RE IN THE JUNGLE GYM, BABY! AGES THREE TO NIIIIINNNNE!" - Axl Rose, playground monitor.
@Scimommy: Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL? Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.
@ArfMeasures: PICASSO: She had one eye on her forehead, and her nose was on the side of her face COP: Maybe someone else should describe the suspect