@Bill_Nye_Tho__: there's literally no way to know for sure how many chameleons are chillin in your house right now
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@iinkedZombie: The horn quit working in my truck, so I'm hanging out of the window revving this chainsaw at pedestrians.
@doritoburritho: [using ouija board] Why isn't he responding to us? I'm annoyed H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D
@Reverend_Scott: "My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am." - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car
@annadrezen: My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I'm great at pole dancing.