@DothTheDoth: There's never enough good news
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@dragonsorbet: [Security breach at Wayne manor] BRUCE: *brooding darkly* ALFRED: The back door is literally just a waterfall
@hipchkk: If the majority of twitter's trending topics are any indication of the state of humanity thus far, we clearly need an asteroid intervention.
@hippieswordfish: ME: help someone caught my wife in a big net 911: where M: between 2 trees in our yard 911:a hammock? M: idk what his name is just send help
@DontTouchMyWine: Him: I love redheads. I could totally see you being a great wife. Me: I could totally see you being a great chalk outline.