@tchrquotes: There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith.
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@dumbbeezie: I just want to learn enough sign language to convince a hair stylist to cut my hair in silence
@stephenjmolloy: Commissioner Gordon: It says here that bats sleep upside down and wee over themselves. Batman: We also poop. CG: We? B: They. I mean they
@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who demanded to use a fork to eat his soup and can’t eat his soup