@shkeeber: There's no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
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@RocketRankoon: I trick people that I know Spanish by quoting fragments of Spanish songs I know, la bamba.
@samalmightysam: The difference between pizza and love is that when the pizza ends it doesn't send you subtweets.
@realHamOnWry: I got a new cat from the inner city shelter. So far he seems fine, except for needing to go outside every hour for a cigarette.