@dougbies: There’s no gangsta way to pull on a push door
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@GoldenSpirals: Apparently... Border Security does NOT think it's funny when you reply, "I'm hungry" when they ask you if you have anything to declare.
@bkdcasey: If it acts like a duck, sounds like a duck and looks like a duck, then it is probably some girl on Instagram taking a selfie.
@skittle624: It’s so unfair how the houses on HGTV get remodeled in 30-60 minutes, but my house is taking 2-3 months.
@NYC_Blonde: A pregnant girl from my high school made her unborn child a Facebook and added me as a friend. I AM FRIENDS WITH AN EMBRYO YOU GUYS.