@Humor_Fetish: There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars. Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE.
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@seanmoriartyMV: My boss: "Sean, what do you know about Twitter?" Me: "nothing. Why? What have you heard?"
@sweet_pea707: HR: Do you know why I called you in here today? Me: I have a boyfriend HR: Ok, sorry to bother you
@Donnie_Fairburn: "Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)