@Humor_Fetish: There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars. Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE.
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@Crunk_Jews: This drunk guy in the mirror thinks he can beat me in a dance off but I totally embarrassed him in front of the whole women's bathroom.
@djdarrellripley: Police Officer: You know, this is a one way street? Me: I was only going one way...
@MissNaughty1801: *approaches man sitting at the bar Me: would you like to dance Him: yeah! Me: that's great because I need to sit down
@CheetoBandito77: *turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*