@MoistPork: There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.
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@RiaWojo: I don't go out very much because I'm broke, but oh boy, once I'm rich, I'm gonna have to come up with another excuse.
@DirtMcTurd: One difference between Men & Women is nicknames. Woman: This is Michelle, we call her Shelly Man: This is Johnny, we call him Long Nuts
@XplodingUnicorn: 5-year-old: Why are we here? Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions
@TheAlexP: Maybe raccoons aren't really digging through trash for food, Maybe they're just looking for something to remove their eye shadow.