@MoistPork: There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.
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@TheMichaelRock: Kids: haha you have to work and we don't have school today Me *closing the front door* I changed the wifi password. Love you guys!
@ArfMeasures: [after my murder] COP: Can u think why anyone would want to kill him? WIFE: Christ yes *starts Power Point presentation* Make yourself comfy
@unbub_: a great headline for when there is a world wide fresh water shortage will be "water we gonna do??" we will need the laughs