@patnspankme: There's no I in team but there is an I in marriage. There's also ME, AA and RAGE.
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@BoogTweets: Me: The wedding cake is a stack of 50 pancakes I have frosted. Each layer represents people you slept with prior to meeti-*mic gets cut off*
@AnOrangeSNES: In 8th grade I had to take care of an egg to teach me responsibility. That egg hatched, and I raised the chicken as my own. He was delicious
@Dwarven_Cleric: After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm.
@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!