@patnspankme: There's no I in team but there is an I in marriage. There's also ME, AA and RAGE.
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@TheMichaelRock: Mall Santa: what do you want for Christmas? Me: drugs. Mall Santa *whispers* meet me in the food court in 20 minutes.
@nerdreign: I earned a masters degree and a doctorate; I have $413.21 in assets. Weird Al Yankovic is worth 11 million. Kids, don't stay in school.
@hunz74: "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?" Me: "Sometimes?" "Are you smarter than a 16 year old?" Me: "Always."