@badbanana: There's no sticker warning me not to eat this box of nails so I guess I'll just go for it.
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@KKBowls: Me: damn, doc I'm losing my hair. What can you give me to keep it in? Dr.: a plastic bag
@ieatanddrink: A gentleman never eats his soup by soaking it into his tie and squeezing it out into his mouth
@thatUPSdude: How is "Shark spotted swimming off the coast" news worthy? Now if a shark was seen walking off the coast that's different.