@TheAlexP: There’s no subtle way of starting a game of dodgeball at a yoga class.
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@truegritrumble: ME: You wouldn't believe these sparklers I got! SPOUSE: That's dynamite! ME: *waiving around the lit fuse* I know! It's really cool! SPOUSE: *already running*
@TheBoydP: Me: Wait, you think I’m a slow learner? Wife: (two years earlier) Why are you such a slow learner?
@AndRyanTF: I just took such a long hot shower that when I finished, Captain Planet was standing in my bathroom with arms crossed shaking his head at me