@gerryhallcomedy: There's no such thing as "elevator etiquette" buddy. Just enjoy your back scratch.
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@StellaGMaddox: My husband purchased his 4th book about a wife whose husband murders her for having an affair. I wonder if I should warn my boyfriend.
@hippieswordfish: *guy collapses* ICE CREAM MAN: does anyone know CPR DOCTOR:*looks at ice cream cones in both his hands, looks up, then slowly walks away*
@hippieswordfish: ME: how do u get girls SCUMBAG GUY: gotta brag about the size of ur, ya know...organ [later at the bar] ME: hey baby i got a real big colon