@mzeld: There’s no “u” in employee. You’re fired.
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@JustinGuarini: Before I had kids I never really reflected on life's little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
@AJslackie2: Her: i'm in the mood Me: me too Her: wanna do it Me: oh yeah baby [we drive to Home Depot to look at paint]
@ayyyyloser: "There's plenty of fish in the sea" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone.