@UNTRESOR: There's no "u" in narcissist
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@internetluke: [at dinner party] Me: Excuse me, a bit of an announcement.. Jenny and I are expecting a kid. She is 4 months pregnant. Vegan: I'm vegan
@shanethevein: I'm not intimidated by a pretty woman. I'm intimidated by smart women, who happen to be pretty.
@hippieswordfish: ME: *fumbling with bra* sorry im usually good at this HER: its...fine ME: *successfully gets bra off* there we go, now you take off yours
@LOUD_Thoughts_: When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like the bottle says.