@UNTRESOR: There's no "u" in narcissist
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@_troyjohnson: *loads dryer* Fitted Sheet: HE'S BURNING US ALIVE! COME, SHIRT! COME, PANTS! HOP IN MY BOSOM AND I WILL FORM A PROTECTIVE BALL OF MOISTURE!
@NakedWhiteAss: Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom.
@sfreeze6: [on deathbed - calls for son] ".....if you highlight the shit out of a document, people will think you read it....."