@BMcCarthy32: There's no way I'm the only person who thinks Kristen Stewart is doing the world's best Garfield impression.
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@SteveSuckington: "What should we call ourselves?" How about 22 pilots? "Idk. Seems like an awful lot of pilots" 21 pilots? "Omg"
@seanmoriartyMV: My boss: "Sean, what do you know about Twitter?" Me: "nothing. Why? What have you heard?"
@living_marble: Dearest wife, The war on Christmas goes well. We found an elf stronghold & cut off its candy cane supply lines. Last night, they ate Donner.
@AthenaMystique: Just saw a sign advertising crabs and clams. I don't know about you, but I prefer to keep the crabs away from my clam.