@robfee: There’s no way the Ninja Turtles would have those ripped abs. You can’t do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me I’ve tried.
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@eudaimonium: Those who carry teensy cute purses shouldn't throw stones at those who wear cargo shorts, because I can carry more stones.
@thatUPSdude: Can't figure out if my dad is defusing a bomb or trying to answer his cell phone. It's tense! "The green one dad, not the Red one!"
@aprilmaywilson: Apparently it's 'inappropriate' to show up at your therapist's home to swim in her new pool even though your 'boundary issues' paid for it.