@Jandalize: There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.
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@rzarosco: Is 6 celebrity impersonations too small a number for me to do on this first date? I feel like its a little low...
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why is there ice cream in the dryer!? me [whispers to toddler] Why is there ice cream in the dryer? toddler [whispers] Because it was wet me: Because it was wet!