@Jandalize: There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.
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@Book_Krazy: Jack is coming over. "Jack from work or Jack and the..." [a beanstalk comes up through the floor and crashes through the ceiling]
@TheToddWilliams: [boss's office] BOSS: Do you like my fire place? ME: Actually, it's one word: "fireplace" BOSS: You're fired ME: Oh, I get it now
@ThisOneSayz: *getting caught filling up neighbor's trash can* Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?
@david8hughes: "Write this down." [Moses grabs tablet] "Thou shalt not steal [raises eyebrow] where did you get that tablet from?"