@Jandalize: There's no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you're blowing up a rubber glove.
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@River_Niles: Interviewer 1: Describe yourself in one word Me: Hired Interviewer 2:[whispers] Holy shit can she do that??
@MrSkinnyGenes: We don't have Taco Bell in South Africa because this country's been through too much already.
@Death_Buddy: Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus: 1. They give awesome hugs 2. They have no skeleton 3. Every date is at the aquarium