@robfee: There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."
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@click4amanda: My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it
@AtticusFinch79: [murder scene] Snail detective 1-He left a decent trail SD2- Let's track him down *10 hours later* SD1-Damn that guy is fast
@Reverend_Scott: [hospital] "Did my dad make it, doctor?" Billy, your dad's in a better place now. [crying] "HE'S DEAD?" Haha no, he went to Disney World.
@catstronomical: him: what did you do all day? *steps aside to reveal 12 cats taped together* Me: it's a purrrramid!