@13spencer: There's nothing funnier than a grown man aggressively dancing at somebody.
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@joe_binkley: Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.
@pourmecoffee: I hope 2016 doesn't get renewed. The plot is ridiculous and none of the characters are likable.
@brennadine: Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please.
@StinkyGr33n: Me: "Hey Siri, what color are your panties?" Siri: "Why would I be wearing panties?" Me: "Oh, you're such a naughty girl, Siri."