@CherBear162: There's nothing like sitting by an open fire..watching the evidence burn.
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@TheCatWhisprer: The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
@daemonic3: [art store] You do free framing? "With any purchase" Ok, just this pencil and [slides a gun with wife's fingerprints] you know what to do
@DaddyBeerGuy: Child protective services? Who's protecting the parents Huh? WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?
@AbrasiveGhost: [at wife's funeral] Son: At least shes in heaven now Me: [delicately places hand on his shoulder] You don't know shit about your mom