@KenJennings: There's nothing more disturbing than the 1st time you hear someone you know using their "whooo's a good dog" voice.
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@osigat: My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint.
@omgthatspunny: Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
@valenty__: Leo: *names his child Oscar* Doctor: "Would you like to hol-" Leo: "Say it like we rehearsed it." Doctor: *sighs* "And the Oscar goes to..."