@garrettbarry70: There's nothing more exciting than waking up with a half eaten burger in your hand.
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@Cpin42: It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them.
@BaconHuffer: I cuss around my kids so they understand proper useage, timing and inflection. Vocabulary is power.
@NikiWithIssues: Niece: found these handcuffs in your drawer. Me: yea I got arrested once Niece: omg why Me: for going through my aunt's drawers.