@bluntphilip: There's nothing more realistic in this world than a 26 year old couple on a house hunting tv show with a $1 million budget.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@CulturedRuffian: Waiter: Would you like regular or decaf? Me: Do you want me to tip you with real money or Monopoly money?
@AristotlesNZ: Cop: "You been drinkin?" Me: I'm going to dinner w/my wife's mom & 94yo granny "You're free to go.." Come on dude. Can't you just arrest me?
@Brettagher: "Ever go to a mall and buy something from the 1st store you stop in? And for the rest of the night you have to carry the bag, watch the bag, remember to pick up the bag after you set it down. It's kinda like that." -me trying to explain to a friend what it's like to raise a child
@KentWGraham: After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.