@AlexTHoffman: Little known fact: Scotland is just an elaborate hoax with Mike Myers playing all of its citizens.
@AbbeYaar: When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger & write "WASH ME" on her face.
@Mr_Kapowski: *Boss approaches desk*
"What the fu.."
Me, wearing paper clip necklace - "See? I knew you'd be mad so I made you one too"
@ozzyunc: It's 2080. Every living human is named Taylor. Dogs are the size of hamsters. The iPhone 47 is the size of a parachute. Weed is mandatory.
@PeasLarge: if only there was a better name
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