"there's nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars" Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.

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@corinnemlwsw: "there's nothing sexier than a chick that knows how to work on cars"

Dudes, trying to get us to do that job too.

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@Marlebean: {Company meeting} Pres: Our biggest fears have come true... *I run to check on the donuts *Stroll back in, spitting crumbs "what's wrong?"

@noxxhell: A homeless guy by the Gas station just proposed to me,it's a little short notice but I'm not getting any younger am I?

@bigmacher: Please retweet my son, it would mean a lot to him, apparently his mother's love isn't enough for him. #IfYourMomWroteYourTwitterBio

@collabeans620: I won't sugarcoat something unless I'm eating it

@viciousbabydoll: This is an example of the shit I text my kid. I know, I know. Mom of the Year material right here.

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