@JRobb773: There's nothing you can't achieve with a positive attitude and a cursed doll possessed by a vengeful spirit.
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@Book_Krazy: I really hate it when I have to go to work because my abundant wealth doesn't exist.
@cromp_daddy: man [looking at condom in horror]: oh no.. it's expired woman: don't condoms take like 5 years to expire? man [visibly sweating]: uhhhh
@WheelTod: The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear.