@JRobb773: There's nothing you can't achieve with a positive attitude and a cursed doll possessed by a vengeful spirit.
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@Scdavis24: Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
@DurtMcHurtt: Sorry I changed your ringtone to Salt-N-Pepa's "push it" and called you a bunch of times during your colonoscopy.
@philyuck: Hi I'm here for my vasectomy. "Would you like that toasted?" What? "Haha whoops sorry, just came from my other job. Ok let's do this."