@rajaet: There's only one kind of people in this world 1. who are good at maths 2. who aren't 3. whose dog can come up with a better tweet than this.
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@SteveSuckington: [third date] Her: please quit calling me Jenny Me: oh my apologies Jennifer Her: my name is Amanda
@FirstDateStory: "My date took me to a nice restaurant. Our server leaned in to me and said, "You're the third one this week"
@UncleBob56: What is it Lassie? Timmy fell down a well? Earthquake in LA? The Russians are coming? You found a plane? No? ...Oh, you want another beer.
@SaraESpivey: My boss just farted. I asked him if he was trying to get the condom out. He's mad now.