@michaelianblack: There's probably one fireman in every house who likes to work the pole in front of the other guys "as a joke."
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@Brianhopecomedy: My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today.
@MissNaughty1801: My mother in law:did you put the weight on? Me:no...actually I've lost some. You should have seen me month ago. I looked like you
@ceejoyner: I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.