@michaelianblack: There's probably one fireman in every house who likes to work the pole in front of the other guys "as a joke."
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@audipenny: Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences
@stephenjmolloy: Cop: "Are you driving under the influence?" Me: "No." Cop: "Say the alphabet backwards." Me: "Tebahpla eht."
@The1WhosCrazy: "MEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS & MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"