@michaelianblack: There's probably one fireman in every house who likes to work the pole in front of the other guys "as a joke."
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@WheelTod: [Date] Her: Any hobbies? Me: Monging mostly. Her: Huh? Me: I'm a monger Her: Huh? Me: Iron, fish, war... You name it -- I'll monger it
@PeterMolydeux: You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying
@tastefactory: *cop sees chalk outline on family's driveway* "Damn, a cute bunny was murdered" "No, the kids who live here drew that, the body's over here"