@envydatropic: There's something mentally wrong with people who ask other parents if their baby isn't the cutest baby they've ever seen
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@PyrBliss: McDonalds wants you to tell your family you love them because if you keep eating McDonalds it won't be long before you're dead.
@novicefather: Nomenclature is important when courting a lady. For example, "feminine scent" and "feminine odor" are perceived differently. You're welcome.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Leans head up to wife as I'm dying* Me: My only regret is... *Coughs loudly* Me: ...not having something cooler to say as I die. *Dies*