@Leemanish: There's this guy at work who's always putting on a sweatshirt. No one's ever seen his face.
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@angeliav68: The guy next door just put up his Christmas lights... I bet he's pissed because I beat him, I put mine up 5 years ago..
@FaisalAdam_: I try not to tell people I had shoddy dental implants done, but whenever in a conversation, it just comes out.
@jordan_stratton: ME: You're saying I'm not smart enough for this job? BOSS: Well, yes. ME: [points to computer] Just because I can't use the typewriter TV?
@themessednest: I’m not saying I drink too much caffeine but I do believe my body will keep moving 48 hours after my death.