@ryaninco: There's three cop cars in the parking lot of my gym. This might be my last Tweet for a little while.
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@Naked_Wombat: Hey terrorists, wanna cripple America? Hack Twitter and cause all DM's to go public. I'm just kidding, don't do that shit. We'd kill you.
@Boba_Photo: $1,000/hour for an escort? No thanks. I've been crossing the street by myself for free since I was 6.
@Celestinelea90: Her: You know when you're craving a cheeseburger but you order a salad instead... Me: (wiping ketchup off my face with my sleeve) No.