@michael_raphone: there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job
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@CulturedRuffian: I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana.
@toomanytoes: "Endless shrimp" sounds nice until you realize they are serious. It's a threat. The shrimp will never stop.
@DanielRCarrillo: Raid™: For when you don't want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something.
@VerifiedDrunk: If God wanted to impress me with his 'miracles' he would've impregnated Joesph, not a poor unwed teenage girl. That shit happens every day.