@michael_raphone: there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kyle_thatisall: Going to show my kids before and after pictures of Lindsay Lohan and say this girl didn't think she needed a nap either.
@Femi_17: Can I call you? Crush: Yes Errm, I called but you didn't pick Crush: I said you could call, I never said I'd pick up
@djdarrellripley: Me: HOLY SHIT! We've been robbed! Her: Oh No! Are you calling the police? Me: (Sigh) No, I'm calling the burglars to congratulate them..
@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"