@_Shizzle: Thesaurus was the first dinosaur to get murdered. No one likes a know it all.
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@TimDuffy: Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget.
@Jacob_Swift16: A cop just told me that i have way too many buddha statues for there to not be drugs in the house
@kiel_phillips: JELLYFISH: *to friend* Want to see something disgusting? Watch this. *stings person* FRIEND: That wasn't dis... JELLYFISH: Wait a minute.
@AnOrangeSNES: Nine out of ten doctors agree that dying is bad for your health. The other doctor is clad in a dark robe and carrying a scythe.