@stonedcognition: These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross.
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@MissBamantha: Grandpa Joe's all, I'm gonna just stay in bed for twenty years. Wait, a CHOCOLATE FACTORY? jkjk I can walk! He's my kinda people.
@MartaEffing: Decorating my xmas tree after a bottle of wine. Mixed up a box of candy canes with a box of tampons. Tree looks weird and I feel minty.
@PaperWash: Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet