@stonedcognition: These cat babies are straight up gangsta. I'm going to name them all after Friends characters. The one I hate will be Ross.
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@timdonakowski: Naming your child “Roger” is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio.
@michaelianblack: I like the way baseball players pick up each other's bats after they cross home plate. More sports courtesy, please.
@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids
@Sean_Burgundy_: I always try to hold in my sneezes so I don't give someone a reason to talk to me