@realHamOnWry: These days, satisfying my sex drive is like using Uber. It's a nervous ride with a stranger who expects to be paid after we reach the end.
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@Storminika: I win arguments with cab drivers by getting out of the cab and leaving the door open.
@lisaxy424: "SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP" I yell at the neighbor I can hear vacuuming at 1pm in the afternoon.
@bmarked21: Hey girls: FYI, if you tilt the camera up just a wee bit higher you can actually get your face in the picture.
@Advil: Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."