@ComedicBust: "These diet pills better work," I say to myself as I wash them down with a chocolate milkshake.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vineyille: Day 20. Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy Leg Man.
@SaltyCorpse: I'm eating the last of the pizza rolls but I'm puttting the empty bag back so my kids know what it's like to get their hopes crushed.
@jimmy_sharpe: Ever accidentally say 'I love you' to important business customers on the phone? Me too. I MEAN ME NEITHER.