@YoungNobler: These e-cigarettes keep getting bigger and bigger. I swear I just saw someone smoking a clarinet.
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@Reverend_Scott: Carl: Gonna be a hot one today. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: Male ostriches can roar like lions. Me: Fair enough, Carl.
@Playing_Dad: *shuts down road going both ways* Right over here, officer. Here is where the accident happened. *pulls tiny sheet over squirrel*
@FunnyCauseImFat: At 1am I'm going to wake up my 2 year old by yelling his name and crying. Then, I'll crawl into his toddler bed. Let's see how he likes it.