@timdonakowski: "These fries are too crispy" - inventor of the microwave
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@FilthyRichmond: I wanna get in touch with those teachers who told me that I have potential, and be like, "Ha! I didn't amount to anything! In your face!"
@Seinfeld2000: KIM KARDASHIAN: Elane you GOTA see the BABY ELANE: I follow you on instagram. Im gona see it
@76coop: 20 yrs from now they'll make a movie on how Leonardo DeCaprio never won an Oscar. Plot twist the actor playing him wins an Oscar.
@3sunzzz: [Bob Dylan giving singing lessons] I'd like you to sing it again, but this time plug your nose and put these 5 marbles in your mouth.