@Beardson: These people are putting up 'Lost Parrot' signs for the sake of their kids, but you'd think they'd place them higher for other birds to see.
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@IamEveryDayPpl: Cop: *searching my car* "WHERE IS IT? I KNOW IT'S HERE!" Me: *trying to swallow a Nickelback cd* "IT'S NOT MINE, I SWEAR!"
@Go2Slp: What flavor is the milkshake? How far away is the yard? How could you know its better than mine? You seem, frankly, a bit overconfident.
@urgeekisshowing: That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean.