@Beardson: These people are putting up 'Lost Parrot' signs for the sake of their kids, but you'd think they'd place them higher for other birds to see.
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@3sunzzz: Waiter: May I take your order? Yes, roll over and play dead! Waiter: It's not that kind of order. Oh. Sorry. I'll have the cheese sticks.
@oakhillbargrill: Son: I'm addicted to morphing Dad: Oh God no, are you smoking it, injecting it? Son: No Dad,not Morphine Dad: what? Son: *turns into bat