@hell_homer: these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy
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@3sunzzz: What did watching Cinderella teach us? 7yo: It taught us that if she had been wearing sensible shoes, she would still be scrubbing floors.
@underchilde: [lying naked in bed] Her: Tell me your fantasy. Me: Well, I get in my car to drive to work, and for the entire trip, there is no traffic.