@hell_homer: these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy
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@Diversion50: "Open Mike Night" sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I'd been invited to an autopsy.
@INDlAN_: Cop: Lemme see your papers Me: Okay Cop: These are rolling papers Me: Would you look at that Cop: Sir are you high? Me: What are you, a cop?
@shariv67: The bright side of global warming is that 100% of our great grandchildren will own beachfront property.