@hell_homer: these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy
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@QwertyJones3: Someone die? Time to get high! Come on down to Barry's Death Emporium where we put the FUN in funeral and the RAVE in grave! (BYO shovel)
@Terry_maximo: [funeral] *walks up to give eulogy* *pulls notes out of pocket* "Frank was a weirdo that bit his toenails." *folds notes* *sits back down*
@DevilryFun: I got a facial tonight by hovering over the boiling water before throwing in the mac n cheese.