@hell_homer: these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy
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@dmc1138: This one time, I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late 5) Too many dragons 4) Out of dragons 3) I'm not late, Steve is 2) Time is fake 1) Made a list of excuses
@zachreinert03: My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money