@215potter: These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?
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@mjkspeaks: [call] MOM: please be safe in the snowstorm. ME: idgaf about snow i'm a gangster. MOM: what? ME: i said thanks for calling i love you.
@SortaBad: Roses are red Violets are blue Stop clicking your pen when you talk to me Kevin I swear I will murder your face with my tape dispenser
@chuuew: ME: [gets into a car accident] EMT: Sir, please step out of the vehicle, we're trying to save lives