@215potter: These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?
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@b0dymassage: "HELP!" Joe pants. "WHAT IS IT JOE?" I belt. "I THINK SOMEBODY SWITCHED OUR ARTICULATORY VERBS WITH CLOTHING WORDS." He cardigans.
@SirEviscerate: "Since you both claim to be this infant's mother, we'll cut the baby in half." OK. Sounds reasonable. "Y...uh, alright then. Let's do this."
@Its_Miss_Riss: I imagine the hardest part about being vegan is getting up before sunrise to milk all of those almonds.
@BuckyIsotope: You're in a room with a murderer and someone who makes sandwiches with the crust end of the bread and you have 1 bullet. Who do- "Bread guy"