@Phook75: They advertise unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. But I can personally attest that after 9 days Olive Garden asks you to leave.
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@HousewifeOfHell: Kids' complaints on vacation: - No wifi on beach - Sand is sandy - Ocean has salt in it - Lobsters? I want pizza. - Too outdoorsy outside
@alive_and_dying: One day, when you least expect it, every single one of your problems will finally be gone. Oddly enough, so will you.
@carlyken: [Michael Bay directing] "WE NEED A HOTTER CHICK" Teacher: This is your son's 3rd grade play "Oh right. I forgot. WE NEED BIGGER EXPLOSIONS"