@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.
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@NYC_Blonde: Dr: We need you to come back for additional blood work... Me: Why, is something wrong?! Dr: Yes. Your blood sample was mostly champagne...
@Chumpstring: GENIE: u have 3 wishes ME: give Taylor Swift 1 extra ear GENIE: k ME: a blue one GENIE: righto ME: now make Kanye hear out of it GENIE: dude
@DepecheALAmode: Guy at the gym had "True Gentleman" tattooed on his arm. I was about to make fun of him, but he held the door for me as I left. Great guy.