@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.
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@POOPSCRUFFIN4U: [first date] DATE: I think cat people are psychopaths ME: *slowly pushes date's coffee off table*
@Sir_Strange: - Your Honor, I'd like to plead insanity. - On what grounds?! - I'm married. - I'll allow it.
@PinkCamoTO: The "we're going to need a bigger boat" scene from Jaws but just me looking at the shopping carts at the liquor store.
@Go2Slp: 4: can we name the baby Yoko? Me: well Yoko is a Japanese name 4: if the baby is Japanese can we name it Yoko? Me: ... 4: ... Me: yes