@TheCatWhisprer: They call cat people crazy but we're not the ones outside at 5AM every morning putting fresh dog poop into tiny baggies.
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@DrDogMD: DR DOG: We need to talk about your weight. PATIENT: I'm not fat. I'm just big boned. DR DOG: *drooling everywhere* Just how big exactly?
@ilovepie84: I go to the bank wearing a Ski mask because I want everyone to know how athletic I am.
@SomthinBoutSara: Just came to the realization that my ten year high school reunion will be in 10 months. I have about nine days to get married and pregnant.