@pixelatedboat: "They call me Mr Six Hours," I told her, trying to make it sound like a sex thing not the amount of time my head was stuck in a beehive for
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@GayDeceiver: Morning meeting about improving communication cancelled because not everyone knew about it. I wish I could make this up.
@RudeFunPillow: "WHAT DO WE WANT?" i havent decided yet "WHEN DO WE WANT IT?" i still need a few more mins with the menu you are a really terrible waiter
@simoncholland: The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.
@TomHanksIsHot: If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like "oh yeah this makes sense."