@meganamram: They call me the Titanic because I once went down on a bunch of Irish peasants
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@xlpaws: I hate it when people show up at MY house, knock on MY door, and then ask me why I'm not wearing pants.
@WheelTod: My wife says I've placed unreasonable expectations on our kids, but I think Superman and Wolverine will turn out just fine.
@ch000ch: [climbs a Tibetan mountain for 6 days & stumbles out of breath into a Buddhist monastery] please. please tell me u have wifi
@iRowlf: A haunted house that has a room where a bunch of women ask you "Notice anything different about my hair?"