@SamGrittner: They don't hire anyone at IKEA. People get lost there for a few years and eventually know where everything is. It's Restockholm syndrome.
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@ComedicBust: My girlfriend's furious that I bought her The Golden Girls box set for her birthday, but I knew she'd get over it since she's not real.
@OtherDanOBrien: [Jesus on the cross] *texts with 1 hand* "um dad y hav u 4saken me wtf" *5 hrs pass* "new phone. who dis?"
@juliussharpe: If Apple has taught me anything, it's wait to see the "Steve Jobs" movie until they release a second version.