@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
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@Skullcat: Before this goes any further, it's important that I know your position on foreign films with subtitles.
@DaveWeasel: If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come.
@Sir_Strange: Women who don't even acknowledge your existence just want you to try harder. I recommend hiding naked in her closet with a block of cheese.
@better_off_dad: Doc: So you're not sleeping? Me: nah D: how much water do you drink? M: a glass a day D: Alcohol? M: 4 glasses D: Coffee? M: Yes, please