@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
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@DaddyJew: Me: so what are you wearing sexy? Collection agency: umm...we'll just call back tomorrow
@Fred_Delicious: [On date] Her - "so your profile said you like classical music? I love Mozart & Bach, how about you?" Me - "Jurassic Park theme"