@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
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@Ghetto_Trophy: Hope floats but corpses don't, so remember: bricks or 25 to life. Inspirational tweet.
@crylenol: *Cop Dog radios in* We've got an armed robbery in progress "What's that boy?" An armed robbery on 5th "Timmy's stuck in a well??"
@thejessbess: First date: *puts entire onion ring in mouth* If yo'lik et ven yo'shoulla puh a wring owh it.