@DeadLioness: They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What does that cloud look like to you? 3-year-old: A cloud. Me: No, what do you imagine it could be? 3-year-old: Rain.
@treywafer: Dear white people: you stop Adam Sandler from making movies and we'll stop Eddie Murphy.
@TedBundybitch: When I tell people I don't speak English to get out of a conversation I randomly throw the word hemorrhoid just to bring it home