@davetureq: They found the charred body rolled into an old carpet, locked inside the trunk of a burned out car. The police suspect foul play.
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@SteveSuckington: "What if I tried to put a ball somewhere and you tried to stop me" -guy who invented sports
@rolldiggity: The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand.
@better_off_dad: Marriage counselor: So, what are we dealing with here? Me: Irreconcilable differences. Her: Football & beer.