@davetureq: They found the charred body rolled into an old carpet, locked inside the trunk of a burned out car. The police suspect foul play.
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@AaronFullerton: USA: "Hey nachos, today's your big day!" Nachos: "What about Cinco de Mayo?" USA: "What'd you just say?" Nachos: "Nothing."
@TheTweetOfGod: It's not that he liked big butts; it's that he could not lie. THAT'S why Sir Mix-a-Lot deserved his knighthood.
@OneFunnyMummy: The fastest way to get your kids to shut up is to ask them a question you want answered.