@rikpayne: They irony of being hit by a Dodge.
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@JohnHilsen: I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults.
@WilliamRodgers: "My mind is telling me nooo... But my body... My body's telling me yesss...BABY" Cashier: Sir...would you like fries with that or not?
@NicestHippo: "You're sure you understand stock trading?" ME: Yep "Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"
@LurkAtHomeMom: People who aren't entombed in 8 feet of snow, what's it like to live in a tropical paradise?